Warning... Some of this blog may be a little TMI and if you are not a mother than none of this will be beneficial for you to read so you might as well just skip over this one if your not a mommy... here it goes...
This is one of those times where I am making myself vulnerable for several reasons. First, I really love to get opinions of others! I may or may not agree with that opinion, I may use it, i may use pieces of it.. but for the past year I have learned TONS from other mothers.. Taking a little piece of this bit of advice and a little piece of that and meshing together for my own perfect world! Second, sometimes it just helps to get your thoughts out, good or bad! Many other reasons too...
Breastfeeding... I breastfed Benjamin exclusively until he was 4 months and had planned on doing it right up until he was 1. I did pump for an occasional night of freedom where my hubs would get up and feed the baby or an occasional date night.. But for the most part Benjamin went were we went.. He went on dates with us, shopping, movies, dinner, church etc.. I never had a problem with it, though I was very private about it... If we had company I would go to other room, im not just one to whip out the girls and say here ya go..
When Benjamin was 4 months hold he was hospitalized for 3 weeks with a sever staph infection which we received from his 4 month immunizations and of course the severaity of his sickness he wasnt able to eat from me, I pumped but not as much as I should and when he was better he just wouldn't do it.. We mixed pumped breastmilk and formula for a while and then slowly but surely the supply died.. I felt a sense of relief, freedom even Joy.. I AM FREE!!! No more feeling like a milk cow, no more achy boobies, no more leaks and a little more freedom for daddy...(TMI I know) Benjamin has done great on formula and of course only has the best.
Heres where the more TMI comes in so skip over the italics if you feel the need...
I always wonder if its just me or if other women experience the change in the view of her breast after feeding a baby. What used to be luscious objects filled with pleasure for both my husband and I are now simply giant utters of which seem to have no use other than for producing milk. Even after 6 months of not breastfeeding I still struggle with viewing them in any other way. Without going into way to much detail I just simply wonder if other mothers experience this or if i am just one of those odd ones! Of course the hubs cares not.. To him they are still wonderful creations from God both for him and for feeding babies to me its a constant battle of the mind.
Nearing the arrival of baby number 2 I know breastfeeding is the way to go, its healthy, its natural and its the best thing for your baby and its free! However, even knowing above all its what I need to do for my baby I cringe at the thought of having to do it again... How oh HOW do I get past this feeling and is it possible to have the best of both worlds???
Birth Control... Onto part 2! I have always been an ANTI Birth Control person for a ton of reasons. Obviously since here we are, baby # 2 will be born just days before the 2nd yes SECOND anniversary of when we started dating! (haha) However, with a soon to be one year old, a new born on the way and a husband leaving for a year to Afghanistan, obviously birth control is going to become a necessary part of my life.. At least for several months until my husband actually leaves. We probably do want at least one more baby but defiantly not until late 2012! I fear BC for many reasons, weight gain, moodiness, side effects, affects on future pregnancies etc.. So what are your thoughts, recommendations, stories etc..
And Finally Buddha! This blog really has nothing to do with Buddha it was just another 'b' word that seemed catchy other than the fact I feel like Buddha with this HUGE Belly!!! And NO you can not rub it for luck!!!!
Thoughts, inspirations, comments from other moms is greatly appreciated and wanted!
Misty - I understand what you are feeling about your breasts. I think maybe if you had been able to continue longer, the bad thoughts would have went away or subsided for the most part.
ReplyDeleteAlso I would encourage you not to resume birth control. Like you said, there are many side effects involved with taking birth control. I know that your husband is going overseas and that will be a very difficult situation for you. I don't begin to understand everything that will entail. But I would encourage you to pray and to trust God that He has everything under control. You said you have always been an anti-birth control person. Maybe God gave you that conviction. I would encourage you to read a book called A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ. It seriously changed my life, my view of having children, birth control, etc.
I will be praying for you about all of this. I am excited that you are thinking about trying breastfeeding again! It will be so worth it!
Well... The Breast thing, I fed Lucas for 8 months and Lincoln for 12 and I know exactly what you mean! 20 months of milkin' and it sucked the life out of them...I love what they used to be, now not so much. Being frank, as soon as I have the $$ to do so, I will get a boob job (gasp!)...I would love for them to be restored and maybe even a little better than what they used to be. Aren't I awful? :)
ReplyDeleteBirth control.... I am not opposed to it, I don't feel a conviction about it and that is ok. However, I hate taking pills, because I always miss and then you have break through bleeding\ and I would get migraines, I did the Depo shot when Daniel and I first got married....what was I thinking, I never would recommend that to anyone! I was on the Nuvaring before Lucas and had no problems whatsoever with it. I am not one of those that believes that you are suppose to have as many as your body allows you to birth. I think there is responsibility in taking care of the ones you have and making sure you are stable and able to support all that you have (and of course you are as am I). Some people aren't cut out for multiple babies and there is nothing wrong with that! So I am not anti-birth control (gasp again...right), but currently I am not taking any because I can't stand the side effects. I was on Loestrin24 for 2 recent months (pill) and I was crying all the time, told Daniel I needed to go to counseling and was mad and had mood swings constantly. Then I quit taking it, because I ran out and realized, "holy cow, I feel better..that's what was wrong with me!". So, I don't know what to do either. It was no fun feeling depressed and i have recently read that a lot of women have struggled with depression while on Nuva Ring. SO, I will be figuring something out. In the meantime...condoms! lol...I hope no one reads my post..haha!
I breastfed Aedon til he was nine months, Liam until he was 6 months, and Allie until she was 6 months. All of my kids weaned themselves, i'm sure my milk supply was too low because I have this horrible habit of running around constantly and I've never been one to take it easy any longer than I have to. I did enjoy nursing, while it lasted, but have always had mixed feelings about the aftermath. I think motherhood is sexy though. When it boils down to it, every stretch mark, and "worn out" body part (hahaha) is well worth it obviously, but it's also your mark of motherhood. Yes, you can always have plastic surgery if it really bothers you (and if it does, and you can afford it, go for it!) but also take into consideration that it problably only bothers you. Your Husband loves you and adores you (i'm sure) and loves and adores your changing body. I'm not saying nurse/or don't nurse. That's a desicion everyone needs to make for themselves, for thier own reasons. Don't allow others to make that choice for you. If I ever had another baby, I'd nurse again though.
ReplyDeleteAs far as birth control. I don't use pills, never had. They made me so nauseous i could barely stand it. We use spermicide (TMI?) and have never had any suprises. I would suggest using something like that, since in a few months Ben will be gone for awhile.
Also, about having as many as you have.. I don't think that's neccesarily for everyone, although i'm sure some are called to it. (ie Mrs. Duggar) :0)
Well here are my two cents. Totally get the breast thing! We went 10 months of nursing and pumping and they just don't hold the same allure to me as they did before. But I recognize that Terry does not share this loss of interest so I try to remind myself that his thinking I am sexy is sexy to me too.
ReplyDeleteOn BC: We are in the condom world. I had some health issues and I needed to rule out everything so I stopped all BC. After KB was born I had the Mirena inserted and that seemed to work well, but I had it taken out when I started having problems. In hind sight, I don't think the two were related, but I don't regret having it out. I read a book on Natural Family Planning that uses abstinence or barrier methods during the most fertile time of the month. It is not fool proof (but nothing is 100% anyways) but if you have a very regular cycle, then you can do some research on that. That does not require condoms all the time. We can discuss more offline if you are interested.
On BF #2: You have to do what YOU want to do. Breastfeeding is good for your baby, but formula works too. I have heard of people that exclusively pump; you could do that for a few days to get the good colostrum for her. Ultimately you need to be comfortable with your decision and know that either way, Cloee will be just fine!
Misty...I do have to add, If I had another I would still breastfeed. :) Yes..it sucks the life out of them...but they already have the life sucked out of them at this point. But, nothing is wrong with formula. EVerything has negatives and good things to it.
ReplyDeleteWith BC do NOT get the depo shot. Yes it's an easy way to keep up with it but almost everyone (including me) has side effects ranging from weight gain to migraines. Pills are wayyy to easy to forget. And I am planning on getting the Mirena after our next child (since were going to start trying again) I have heard nothing but good things about it!! You can remove it whenever you choose to start trying again!
ReplyDeleteWell, you specifically asked me to comment, and I have thought long and hard about what to say...so here it goes.
ReplyDeleteI know you are a Christian woman. I know you believe God's word. You know the same about me to be true. Having said that, I tell you that God led us to the decision of breastfeeding. God made our bodies as sexual beings for our husbands-that is scriptural. However, God ALSO made our bodies for our children. He perfectly created our bodies to hold this tiny miracle inside of us for 9 long months while it grows, and matures until He says it's time to be born. God gave us the gift of caring for this tiny baby and to sustain this life in our womb. We are SO lucky to be a part of His miracle! But you know what, God also created mammary glands that produce milk for our babies!!!! God DID NOT do this on accident! God gave us the ability to nourish our babies and to keep them alive after they've been born...yet another miracle! The bible references nursing mothers many, MANY times, and I for one do not see that as an accident! I feel God made our bodies to nurse our babies. Simple as that. I feel that formula is out there for women who have a medical situation that prevents them from breastfeeding, but that we should not abuse formula as I see it as a slap in God's face when He designed our bodies perfectly to feed our babies the perfect God created food.
I've read all the other comments on here, and I also have nursed more than any of them. 24 months and 1 day with Jackson and so far 5 months and 4 days with Walker. The feeling of being a milk cow DOES go away!!!!!! I cannot stress that enough! God wouldn't want women to feel that way, and honestly I think our society strengthens that feeling in women today. Women in Africa who do not have tv and see sex everywhere have never stated they feel like that. I have read a lot of research about African breastfeeding and African babies (they cry a lot less becuase they nurse ALL the time) Anyway, God wouldn't reference nursing mothers as an analogy if it wasn't His perfect design for mommies to do it. Have you ever thought about how our Lord and Savior stayed alive while he was an infant? What did Jesus eat? BREASTMILK! And Misty, when Benjamin got so sick and was in the hospital for so long, I believe that your breastfeeding him up until that point saved his life! He had your collostrum, and your breastmilk that gave him pro-biotics unique to what his body needed that kept him healthier than he would have been otherwise.
ReplyDeleteMy husband still loves my boobs....trust me! And yours will still love yours too! I often stop and think about what will matter to me when I am old and close to death. Will I miss going out to eat and getting to spend lots of money? Or will I treasure the memories I have from being a stay at home mom? Will I care that I missed out on working in the corporate world for a while? Or will being the one to raise my children matter more? Will I regret giving my children the Perfect God made food to my children or will I wish I had been more selfish and cared just about the way I felt all the time?
In an earlier blog, you talked a lot about parents being selfish by exposing kids to certain things on tv or in movies simply because the parents wanted to watch. Well, I believe in our world today, it is easier to formula feed and mommies have gotten selfish and choose to formula feed instead. Mommies care more about what their boobs will look like, how it takes too long to nurse, how it would be easier to formula feed. God never said parenting was easy! And parenting isn't about the parents...it's about what is best for your children and how God wants you to raise your kids.
All in all, I say follow the scripture. We turned to the bible concerning circumcision because we didn't know what to do. The Bible is a map for our lives...even breastfeeding.
Just a side note: The CDC (center for disease control) is mandating that formulas begin ( I bleive in 2012) showing a warning label linking formula to many childhood diseases and illnesses like: ADHD, ADD, childhood diabetes, childhood obesity, childhood cancer allergies and asthma to name a few. I spoke with the head of the MOther's Milk Bank in Ft. Worth Texas last week, and she stated that ALL Ft. Worth Hospitals require mothers to sign an release acknowledging they know the above mentioned risks if they choose to exclusively formula feed. So, hospitals are beginning to share the information, too! Formula companies are constantly trying to sell you on the fact that their brand is most like breastmilk....than why not use breastmilk? If we all agree it is the perfect food, give the perfect food!
I will love you no matter what! I'm just saying God made you PERFECT...for your husband to love and for your babies, too! God did not make a mistake in making your breasts for your sex life and your babies. God changes your breastmilk at a chemical level EVERY time your baby eats, cause God knew that's what your baby and all babies needed. Formula never changes to meet a child's needs.
Love you....I know that was a lot, but you asked for my honest opinion, and there it is! I cannot wait to see Cloee!!!!
I've read all the other comments on here, and I also have nursed more than any of them. 24 months and 1 day with Jackson and so far 5 months and 4 days with Walker. The feeling of being a milk cow DOES go away!!!!!! I cannot stress that enough! God wouldn't want women to feel that way, and honestly I think our society strengthens that feeling in women today. Women in Africa who do not have tv and see sex everywhere have never stated they feel like that. I have read a lot of research about African breastfeeding and African babies (they cry a lot less becuase they nurse ALL the time) Anyway, God wouldn't reference nursing mothers as an analogy if it wasn't His perfect design for mommies to do it. Have you ever thought about how our Lord and Savior stayed alive while he was an infant? What did Jesus eat? BREASTMILK! And Misty, when Benjamin got so sick and was in the hospital for so long, I believe that your breastfeeding him up until that point saved his life! He had your collostrum, and your breastmilk that gave him pro-biotics unique to what his body needed that kept him healthier than he would have been otherwise.
ReplyDeleteMy husband still loves my boobs....trust me! And yours will still love yours too! I often stop and think about what will matter to me when I am old and close to death. Will I miss going out to eat and getting to spend lots of money? Or will I treasure the memories I have from being a stay at home mom? Will I care that I missed out on working in the corporate world for a while? Or will being the one to raise my children matter more? Will I regret giving my children the Perfect God made food to my children or will I wish I had been more selfish and cared just about the way I felt all the time?
In an earlier blog, you talked a lot about parents being selfish by exposing kids to certain things on tv or in movies simply because the parents wanted to watch. Well, I believe in our world today, it is easier to formula feed and mommies have gotten selfish and choose to formula feed instead. Mommies care more about what their boobs will look like, how it takes too long to nurse, how it would be easier to formula feed. God never said parenting was easy! And parenting isn't about the parents...it's about what is best for your children and how God wants you to raise your kids.
All in all, I say follow the scripture. We turned to the bible concerning circumcision because we didn't know what to do. The Bible is a map for our lives...even breastfeeding.