Weight Watchers, ER Visits and Mini Meltdowns

Well I did it! I joined Weight Watchers! WW actually doesn’t have a prego plan but I discussed it with my wonderful OB and she said its fine as long as I’m getting enough calories and I could select the plan for breastfeeding along with supplementing for a few extra needed points…  So yay! I’ve been doing it for a week now and so far I am pleased.  I like that I can eat what I want as long as I keep track and stay with in my day plan.  So if occasionally I feel the need for a yummo guilty pleasurable biscuit (see previous post) then its ok as long as it fits into my daily points!  I like that it has helped me keep track and be aware of what I am eating instead of mindlessly eating what I what when I want and using the excuse of being prego. 

I actually did loose 2 lbs over the course of 1 week surprisingly and that makes me happy!  No im not trying to go on a crash diet while prego but do believe that this is a lifestyle change and not just a random diet plan. 

I am working on making some new goals of all kinds that I want to accomplish in this last 8 months of deployment… some will get more intense after baby comes but I am just taking a hard look at things and seeing what overall I want to change.  Some of the things are comical but necessary and others are serious and I gotta get these things back down and in front of me so I have something to work towards!

I can’t believe it’s only been 5 months of the hubs being gone and that we still have a long 8 months to go!  But I am sure that once peanut comes along things will pick up.. hopefully!  Part of me is scared to death about adding another baby but part of me knows it will all somehow work out! 

Yesterday I had a mini melt down when I had to take princess to the ER because she was throwing up and hadn’t peed in over 18 hours! I knew she would be fine and just needed fluids but the thought of having to go to the ER and deal with her while dealing with the Monkey running around was overwhelming!

Lately the Monkey has been… well… difficult!  I feel like I need a leash (a cute lil monkey back pack one) for him but the hubs thinks those are wrong. Ugh!

We went to Wal-Mart the other night for a quick trip of needing 6 things and it literally took 50 minutes because I spent the majority of the time literally chasing him around the store.  He was just having fun and playing but somehow in the last few months the word NO has come to mean absolutely nothing to him anymore! 

I used to think that he was such a perfect little angel and loved that he would quickly respond to ‘nono’ but man now he throws huge fits and acts like a little beast.  I hate that when you are at the store and if your kid is crying people look at you like you are a horrid mother! It makes me so mad! One of these days someone is gonna get an ear full lol! 

Today princess is doing sooo much better!!  I love that a nurse called to follow up and I took the opportunity to tell her someone needs to talk to the lady that come in to take our information…  When the lady was taking our info I told her that my hubs was deployed she said OH NO! Be careful! My sister in law is deployed and now her and my brother are getting divorced! And she went on and on and said oh not to worry you!  I said I am not at all worried! It was just frustrating to be facing the challenge of being at the ER with an 8 mo old and a 20 mo old ALONE without some IDIOT rambling off about stupid crap!  It aggravated me but then I thought ya know if you get someone in here that’s not strong and secure in their marriage this is not a good thing to be worrying someone with!  Man people are stupid! Lol Anyway the sweet nurse was like Oh I am soo sorry I hope that doesn’t make us look bad to you. I said I am fine and obviously not worried but those are the kind of things she needs to keep to herself. 

It seems that Mini Meltdowns are always going to come and go.  There is always going to be something slightly stressful and I had a week full of those moments last week and at times I think I am not strong enough to do this but then I remember Im not alone! This wont last forever and I am make it with the grace of God!

I think my new theme song should be “Strong Enough” by Matthew West – Read these words! They are pretty powerful and surely the song of my heart at this point!

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/strong-enough-lyrics-matthew-west.html ]

Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough