Survival part 1

I know I have been totally MIA this past few weeks but life in Oklahoma has been craaaazay!  2 weeks ago today was the devastating May 20 tornadoes... My hubs was at work and I was home alone with my 3 babies when the news said that the Tornado was a mile wide and taking the same path as May 3, 1999... May 3, 1999 Tornadoes were right in my neighborhood...  I panicked, threw the kids in the car and headed out of town... We survived but the devastation is unbelievable!  It came so close to so many loved ones and the destruction is beyond unbelievable!   This was a pic a my babies sitting on the couch watching PBS kids app completely oblivious to the fact of what just happened.  As I watched the news I cried thinking about all those poor little kids... Ugh.. heartbreaking!

Friday night was another tornado outbreak and we headed to Yukon for my aunts house because she had a basement... We quickly had to cram my 3 littles, my cousins 3 along with all of us into a stairwell in the basement when they said the path is a mile wide and heading straight for yukon and only 2 miles away... 

Thankfully it turned and went the other way and we were safe.. Its hard to say thankfully because though we were safe and sound there were 9 other people who were killed when the tornado unexpectedly turned south.

the kids played ring around the rosey while we watched the news coverage...

Once the storm was over and it was safe to head home I cried the entire way home... Benjamin kept saying 'Mommy why did you make me go under those stairs? It was so scary! Dont ever make me do that again' 

4 days later Cloee still refuses to sleep alone and Benjamin is still talking about the scary stairs.

On top of the tornadoes I have had 2 flats, on less than 6 month old tires, had too many days where at the end of the day I just wanted to cry because I felt like it was just another wasted day in survival mode. My diet has SUCKED, stress has taken over I find myself time and time again at the end of the day regretting how much I yelled at my poor babies.  

I often feel like I am spending the majority of the days saying No! Dont do that! Quit fighting, get out of the trash, dont eat that, please quit climbing on me, leave your diaper on, dont pee on the floor, leave your brother alone, get out of there, share! .. everything feels like a fight and its never ending!   I often wonder if it will ever get easier. We havent been able to sit through church in over a month because Jax just cries and cries in class and isnt quiet enough to sit in regular service so we end up leaving after 30 minutes.  

My kids are so sweet and beautiful and precious and I love them more than I ever imagined possible but I need out of this rut!  Today I found something amazing! Kara-Kae over at The Mom Diggity launched a brand new adventure called Thrive!  As I read through the info on Thrive I had tears!  You have no idea how this speaks right to where I am and where I want to be!  Thriving with other moms who deal with the same things I do! I am so tired of just surviving and ready to thrive as a mom and wife and woman!  

HUGE changes are coming for our family!  I am not at liberty to share at this point but hopefully by the end of this week I will be able to tell you the exciting news!!!  :)

Oh and in all the chaos I managed to get my hair done and I went back blonde and I love it and it was super nice to have some me time!