Monday, July 26, 2010

Can I be like her?

I know its not right to want to be someone else... To look at her and say man I wish I was her! I want what she has, I want to do the things she does, I want to dress like her, act like her, cook like her etc... But the woman described in Proverbs 31 is truly a testament of what kind of wife and mother I truly long to be.

Being almost 6 months pregnant with an 8 1/2 month old plus working outside the home 30 hours a week has it's challenges! I tend to try to rush through my days... Get up at the last possible minute, rush to get ready and jet out the door... If I'm lucky I can grab a few mins with Benjamin and Daddy. Get to work only to be doing what seems to be pointless and redundant while waiting and hoping Ben gets a great job opportunity so I don't have to work and can stay home and be a good wife and mother... Then I come home, tired from a long, boring, redundant day spend a few mins with the baby before his nap, then cook dinner (though sometimes daddy cooks too) by the end of dinner I'm exhausted! I just wanna lay down and vedge out. What ends up happening is an endless night of TV, then after putting Benjamin to bed at whats usually 8 or 830 I follow closely behind.
Wasting away the night I look at around at laundry that needs to be done, floors that need to be swept, dishes that need to be cleaned etc and I think Oh I'll do it later!
There comes a point where you just take a close look and realize wow this is not what I envisioned for myself or my family.
Life is full of challenges but I have come to realize that I cant look at caring for my family as a chore or a challenge!
Work is temporary and I wont have to do it forever. But the way I handle my family now will have everlasting impact. In 10 years my husband and children aren't gonna remember every little detail but they will remember how I cared of them and if I spent good quality time with them.
Its funny that I took a look at my moms life and realized she is ALWAYS on the go.. She rarely sits down and vedges, as a matter of fact I don't know that she knows how to. That's because she is a great wife and mother, always has been. She could have worked a 13 hour day and still finds energy to keep care of her husband and house. I used to think dang mom take some time for yourself why are you doing this for your husband can't he do it himself etc. But she had embraced what God had called her to do.
So I had a paradigm shift... It really is time to be a good wife and mother by taking time to care for my family and not just rush through the days, hoping they will soon end but to slow down and cherish each one. Find joy in laundry not bc laundry is fun but you are doing it for your family, take joy in cooking dinner and doing dishes simply bc thats what a good wife and mamma do! Obviously I have to rest because I am pregnant and keeping care of the baby is a must but resting and laziness are soo different! Time to quit being soo lazy and embrace the wondrous job I have been given as a woman and rise up and take care of my Husband, Babies and our house!

Proverbs 12:4 (Amplified Bible)

A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones

So this begins a new journey, a time to put down self and flesh and laziness and rise up and be the crowning joy of my family and aspire to be just like the woman listed below...

Proverbs 31:10 Msg
[ Hymn to a Good Wife ] A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: "Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!" Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Just a lil history...

A lil history...
Ben and I started dating on November 28, 2008. We had known each other from church for a year or so before but never really hung out or anything before that. I knew his dad from working with him in children's church and through that developed a relationship with the family. When I was in the hospital for over a week in November of 08 with a serious Cronhs flare up we began texting and things just went on from there!
We were engaged on March 8th, 2009! Found out we were pregnant on March 17, 2009, got married on March 22nd, 2009 and then Ben left for basic training on April 1st, 2009 and didn't return until October about 3 weeks before Benjamin was born!
Pregnancy with Benjamin was hard! It was unexpected and everything happened so fast and there I was, married, husband gone for 7 months and pregnant!
Its probably a good thing i didn't have a blog then bc it would have been one big ole pity party! Haha! During that 7 months apart we got to see each other 3 times! I was soooooo glad when he finally got to come home!
Benjamin was due November 20th and for the last 3 weeks of pregnancy I was on bed rest for high blood pressure! Went in for a check up and a non stress test on Thursday November 12th and they wouldn't let us go home! Decided blood pressure was dangerously too high and they said I would spend the night in the hospital and be induced in the morning!
I had problems the entire pregnancy, was in the ER 3x in the first trimester and constant sickness, low platelet counts and was in a high risk pregnancy bc i had been diagnosed with Cronhs Disease just a few short months before Ben and I got together. Luckily pregnancy put Cronhs in remission and I haven't had 1 symptom since getting pregnant with Benjamin!!!!
We were not ready to have him and he wasn't ready to come out... But after long hours of inducing, labor and never being dilated beyond a 5 they did a c section and he was born on Friday, November 13th at 4:19pm, weighing only 5 lbs and 14 oz! He was sooo beautiful!
Motherhood had begun! We were so scared but really everything did come naturally just like they said!
I never knew being a mommy would be soooo amazing!!! I can't believe how much love you can have for such a lil baby! Every day for these past 8 1/2 months have been a constant realization of how much more I love this kid every day!
Challenging yes but oh so worth it!
On our 1 year anniversary, Benjamin was 4 months old, we found out we were expecting baby # 2! Excited, scared but so excited to be growing our family. Everyone says man havent you two figured out what causes that yet? My answer to that is yes! Obviously we have and we do it rather well! haha! Gotta have some kind of humorous answer to the constant ridicule you get! haha
This pregnancy has been totally different! With Benjamin I threw up every day and had constant problems! With this one, luckily, we have had no problems, haven't hardly been sick at all, just nauseous and sooo tired!
Have had 2 ultra sounds and they couldnt tell if its going to be a girl or a boy but hopefully we can find out Friday!
If its a girl her name with be Chloee Elaine and if its a boy Axton Tate!
We will see!!!!
That was just some background on where I'm coming from! Hope you enjoyed the journey through the last year and a half of my life! More to come....