Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What I Want Wednesday! Turquoise!!!!

Lately I have found it hard to ‘blog’! I write an entire blog then I feel like it’s boring, sad or a little too whiney, so I end up deleting it!  In my present situation it’s way too easy to fall into a rut so I am working on revamping things a little…
Thinking about my future and there are many things I want!  Some material, some spiritual, some personal, physical etc...  I am thinking of making a fun midweek focus, “What I want Wednesday!” 
This week I’m starting with the Material!

One of the things I love to watch is the Nate Berkus show!   He always inspires me! I told my hubs a few weeks ago that I wanted to redo our bedroom for Christmas! Right now its brown and blue and its DULL and I hate it!  I loved it in our old house because it worked, but here it just feels drab!

I am pretty sure I’ve decided that I want Black and White and Turquoise! 
I want deep turquoise walls and an awesome Black and White comfortor!  No zebra! More like an elegant(ish) chandelier type print!  Oh and I totally want turquoise Satin or Silk sheets with some cute turquoise throw pillows and a homemade headboard!  Ive seen several ideas and I wanna get crafty and try one!

Here are a few of my random likes in the direction I’m wanting to go!
love the wall color
ADORE ALL Of this! but no pink accents though

silk sheets!!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Finding strength in the storm

It is so easy to lose focus in the midst of the storm!  We are 5 ½ months into our first deployment… we have 3ish months till R&R and 7 ½ months left! 
I have been fortunate enough to be able to talk to my hubs just about every day so far.. but right now he is in a remote location covering someones R&R and I haven't gotten to talk to him in 7 days!  I feel like I'm going crazy some days!  I miss him so much!  Today I was changing a diaper and got a notification on my phone… he posted on my wall and was on Facebook!!!  OMG! It was less than 2 minutes from the time he messaged me to the time when I got to respond and he was already gone! UGH! I couldn’t stop crying.  Not to mention I pretty much cried 90% of yesterday!  Ugh… 5 ½ months in I would think it would get easier but I really don’t think it ever will get easier.  I can never get used to not being able to see, talk or be with my best friend when ever I want to .  Deployment sucks! 

Like I said before it is so easy to get lost in the midst of the storm, to lose focus and to forget that even in the midst of pain and trials, God is still in control!  Today I had just about as much as I could handle and my patience was gone and I was afraid I was gonna explode and yell at my beautiful babies so I decided to load up and go for some Starbucks therapy and a long drive!  I got to Starbucks and ordered.. .and while at the window had the thought that I should pay for the car behind me.. just then the lady dropped my drink all down the side of my pick up…  I about said forget it.. but did it anyway.. when I gave her my card back and told her I wanted to pay for the person behind me she looked shocked.  Then when she gave me my receipt she gave me a voucher for a free drink next time! Cool!!!

I started driving and had it on Klove… and every single song I heard during my hour drive spoke right to my situation!  Love it!  Its so great how God can use something as simple as radio to speak to our hearts!  One song that stuck out to me was “Praise you in the storm” by Casting Crowns!  Read the words… They really are a great encouragement and reminder that God is in control no matter what circumstance! Hope it encourages you as much as it did me! 

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away


I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Paradigm Shift along with a lil bit of Rant...

Its comical to me how views can change in a blink of an eye.  I used to look at the things my child was doing compared to what another child was doing and think man my child is so good and that kid is bad!
Since monkey is now falling out of the perfect angel stage and moving more into the terrible two stage I am challenged more to remember each child is different.  I remember before he was a year old and he would so gladly listen to the word ‘nono’ and move on and now hes like whatever! Testing and tempting every day.  However I am convicted more and more to Judge Not unless I want to be Judged… and lets face it no one wants to be judged! Especially when dealing with all the things that I am having to deal with. It frustrates me to no end when people offer unsolicited advice, rude stares, negative comments etc.  No one, unless you are in the exact same situation, truly understands the ins and outs of our day to day lives.  Just as I don’t fully understand others.  Its easy for me to look at someone with a misbehaving child and think how I could do it differently, or how my child differs, excels etc but comparison and one upping is not only petty its stupid.

Before I really get going let me start with my blog disclaimer… My blog is my opinion and doesn’t require approval or rebuttal; it’s just simply a way of getting my thoughts out. I’m not asking you to agree or disagree, I do not condemn others who don’t have the same views as I do and I ask the same of others, not to condemn me for my views and choices. If you and your family does something that I disagree with I am not trying to rag on you or belittle you, I am just simply saying its not for us. To each his own and its all a matter of personal preference and choice. My thoughts are simply that, Mine. If we all thought the same way and had the same opinions and preferences life would be boring! I hope you enjoy my blog and please above all don't take anything I say personally.

Also this isn’t directed at anyone and doesn’t come with a plea for apologies etc its just my thoughts and a fair warning to the general public that mamas wrath may be soon to come, haha!

I am still learning how to let the looks and comments of others slide.  (obviously I don’t do that so well) I used to never care what people thought about me or my actions but when it comes to my babies there is a whole new level of pride that takes over.  Each mother wants her child to be the best, and at times thinks her child can do no wrong.  I can easily look past the difficulties I have and judge someone else for the lack of good behavior that their child has and I know in the past I have done it often but I am really working to change that knowing how much it frustrates and at times hurts me.  I never want to cause another mother to have to think she is doing something wrong or not doing a good job.  Every mom is different in the way they raise/teach their children and different is good! Because someone does something differently that you do, does not give you the right to judge.

I often ask other friends for advice in how to deal with situations and gladly accept that advice and use what I can of it, but I swear if I hear one more person steps in and make a comment about how my child acts or doesn’t act im gonna unleash the mothers wrath. Lol!  I have over the past few months heard such comments as “oh glad your child picked today to start behaving” (while their child was obviously not acting well), “Can you get a babysitter and not bring them along” “did you ever hear of birth control” and countless others that I can’t seem to shake for one reason or another. 
My child isn’t bad! Yes he can be difficult but hes 20 months old and his daddy is in Afghanistan.  Does anyone actually know a 20 month old anywhere that doesn’t test the limits, throw fits, misbehave in restaurants, ignore mommys warnings, pester his siblings, get into everything etc? 

Yes I have a 20 month old, an 8 month old and am 26 weeks pregnant.  Yes my husband and I obviously have a lot of unprotected sex and we like it that way!  If you have problem with it take it up with God who not only created sex as a wonderful gift for 2 married people to share (without limit) but said be fruitful and multiply! And who planned for each of my children to arrive at their exact time in destiny and he choose that long ago!

If you have a problem with the way I’m raising my kids, first are your kids perfect? And if they are then how about you introduce them to a situation like mine and see how well they adjust.  It just frustrates me by the LARGE amount of people that refer to my monkey in negative ways. Sometimes it’s the rude old lady at the grocery store who gives you the evil stink eye because he is throwing a fit in the cart,  sometimes it’s an acquaintance who thinks they obviously have it all together and sometimes it’s a well meaning friend or a family member.  Ive heard it from all sources and more than be aggravated at them it causes me to look at how I respond.  And makes me look at how I view other children I see.  I have no right to judge and don’t always know the situation and I wish that others would have the same paradigm shift.  And even if I do think I know their situation its still not my business to judge them as its not your right to judge me. 

Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that
is in your brother’s eye but do not become aware of and
consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3 AMP)

Pretty awesome wisdom from the Bible and its meant exactly for me in the middle of this paradigm shift.