Tuesday, October 8, 2013

31 days - Day 8 A funny but serious change needed

Days 3-7 have been spent with our lil family trying to enjoy our time together while the hubs was on furlough! Its hard not to get discouraged and stressed when your income is cut off without knowing when it will be back.  For me its better not to blog when I'm angry at the government lol.. Thankfully the hubs got to go back to work yesterday but depending on what happens with the debt ceiling he may be furloughed again. 

Any who... on  this quest to reinvent myself I have been taking a hard look at things in my life that I want to change. Change is not easy but the biggest thing is recognizing the things that need to change. Today's quest is a funny one...

Our oldest, Benjamin, who will be 4 in a few weeks has become the absolute worst back seat driver.  Like beyond what I picture a 4 year old should be capable of!  Here are some of the things he has said recently while in the car...

Benjamin: Daddy! You are going the wrong way! Turn around! NOW! JUST DO IT!
Daddy: Benjamin this is a short cut
Benjamin: NO its not! Your new glasses dont work very well!
Me: crying from holding in the laughter lol

Benjamin:  Mommy where are we?
Me: were in Tulsa
Benjamin: No where in Broken Arrow
Me: actually this is Tulsa
Benjamin: NO MOMMY! You don't even know!

While on the phone with my mom the other day out of the blue he says 'I'm getting angry at my mom! She is taking all the wrong roads"  

Among these common conversations are constantly asking where we are, constantly telling us we are going the wrong way, constantly saying NO! You were suppose to go left! You are making me angry and on and on and on and on and on... He is an absolute nag and its non stop for the hour long commute to the city...

It is so easy to get super annoyed with this behavior.  Part of me is proud that he is so observant and can always tell us the way to get anywhere that we have been before but OMG it can be very draining... well in the midst of my frustration the other day I had a HARD realization! Benjamin is me! My poor husband!  I am constantly nagging him, telling him where to park, which lane to drive in, asking why he didnt go that way, just turn here, go this way.. etc  I seriously had tears when I thought about it.  Mostly because I dont want to be a naggy wife but also because I have without realizing it taught my innocent lil boy to be a nag as well. The other day I asked my hubs what was the one thing that drives him nuts about me.  He of course said backseat driving.  I am such a control freak and Benjamin is becoming so much like me in so many areas its scary!

Proverbs 27:15
The Message (MSG)
15-16 A nagging spouse is like
    the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet;
You can’t turn it off,
    and you can’t get away from it

Proverbs 25:24
The Message (MSG)
24 Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack
    than share a mansion with a nagging spouse.

Wow! Dear God, please help me to hold my tongue in the car and let go of control and not be a nag! 

In the grand scheme of things it truly does not matter if he parks in a completely different place than I would have.  It does not matter if we got the long way around and it takes us a whole 3 minutes longer to get somewhere. What does matter is that my husband does not have to have these same feelings of frustration caused by something so silly.  Nagging!  

I am really really really committing to tenaciously work to reinvent this part of me! Will it happen overnight? No but bad habits can be broken!  

Who wants to be a nag when the Bible has given us the perfect example of what a woman should be...

Proverbs 31: 10-31
The Message (MSG)
 A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!

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