Its weird to me to think of ‘unhealthy’ food as an addiction but today as I was faced with a bag of chocolate that my kids got from church I quickly realized what it feels like to fight addiction.
I went to a Christmas party on Friday Night and there was tons of food! I kept busy and really it was no big deal to stay away from bad choices. But today as I was home alone, with the exception of my kids, I was faced with the choice. I looked at the snickers and the twix and said NO! But then the oh so loud voice of addiction spoke up and filled my mind with reasons why it was ok. For every time I said no and walked away I found myself thinking of half a dozen reasons why I should eat just one! Before I knew it, I had eaten 5! UGH!
|image from diseaseproof.com|
I should have read the quote on my phone that says…
“Hold on, Put that down! Look how far you’ve come! Look at your goals! Think of how great you are good you are going to feel once you hit those goals. Do you really want that? Do you NEED it? NO! Don’t eat it! Its not healthy! Go eat some fruit to replace that, you can do this! You are not a failure, you are strong and you can stick to eating healthy! If you eat it you will just feel gross, unhealthy and fat after. Say no! Its not worth it!”
I found this quote on pinterest and cant find it for anything now but it is so good! I need to pin it up everywhere!
Its true that after I felt gross, I felt like a failure and I felt like a fatty giving in and I am sure that once I see the number on the scale in the morning I will more than concede with its seriously not worth it! I realize that there will be days like this but I also realize that its more than just wanting to change my lifestyle its breaking addictions!
I never really understood addiction before. If someone had an addiction I would think well just quit and heres the reason why. And I couldn’t understand why they cant just say no for the bigger picture. But now I do. Its like you want to say no, you know you need to say no and before you know it you find yourself immersed in the sin! Before you say oh that’s not a big deal or its not sin its just a little candy you have to understand that one piece of candy to a fatty is like one drink to an alcoholic! Or one peek of a half dressed woman to a porn addict or one sniff of pot to a pot head… That one lil taste is NEVER enough.. Before you know it the addiction takes hold of you and at the end you are filled with regret, wishing you could take back what you had just done but you cant!
That first lil snickers was so yummy before I knew it I was eating a twix (these were bite size) 1 lil bite turned into 5 lil pieces of candy, then an oreo (since was making oreo balls for a gift) then a bite of red velvet cake (making red velvet cake balls) then a pretzel rod… it might as well have been an all-out binge but luckily it ended there.
I think back to the movie “Love Dare” and how the man threw out his computer bc it kept tempting him and though that seemed very drastic I realized you have to remove the temptation in order to succeed. Recovering alcoholics cant even have a beer in their house because that temptation of one drink is often to much for an addicted person to overcome on their own!
I should have said no thank you to the bag of candy, my kids are to small for it anyway. I should have not thought it would be nice to make oreo balls and cake balls and chocolate and candy coated pretzel rods for others because not only am I giving them unhealthy gifts I am putting this big ole carb addicted fatty right in the midst of a butt load of temptation. Basically I set myself up for failure! Its like sending an alcoholic into the liquor store with $100 and saying don’t buy anything… DUH! How could I roll up that yummy oreo ball and not take a bite? How could I roll up that red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting all mixed in and not indulge? Ugh…
I have had an incredible week of losing at least a pound a day as well as making extremely healthy choices with no cheats so in the grand scheme of things one bad day is not that bad. But I want better for me, I want better for my family! All I can do is repent and realize that tomorrow is a new day and I can do this!