Warning... Some of this blog may be a little TMI and if you are not a mother than none of this will be beneficial for you to read so you might as well just skip over this one if your not a mommy... here it goes...
This is one of those times where I am making myself vulnerable for several reasons. First, I really love to get opinions of others! I may or may not agree with that opinion, I may use it, i may use pieces of it.. but for the past year I have learned TONS from other mothers.. Taking a little piece of this bit of advice and a little piece of that and meshing together for my own perfect world! Second, sometimes it just helps to get your thoughts out, good or bad! Many other reasons too...
Breastfeeding... I breastfed Benjamin exclusively until he was 4 months and had planned on doing it right up until he was 1. I did pump for an occasional night of freedom where my hubs would get up and feed the baby or an occasional date night.. But for the most part Benjamin went were we went.. He went on dates with us, shopping, movies, dinner, church etc.. I never had a problem with it, though I was very private about it... If we had company I would go to other room, im not just one to whip out the girls and say here ya go..
When Benjamin was 4 months hold he was hospitalized for 3 weeks with a sever staph infection which we received from his 4 month immunizations and of course the severaity of his sickness he wasnt able to eat from me, I pumped but not as much as I should and when he was better he just wouldn't do it.. We mixed pumped breastmilk and formula for a while and then slowly but surely the supply died.. I felt a sense of relief, freedom even Joy.. I AM FREE!!! No more feeling like a milk cow, no more achy boobies, no more leaks and a little more freedom for daddy...(TMI I know) Benjamin has done great on formula and of course only has the best.
Heres where the more TMI comes in so skip over the italics if you feel the need...
I always wonder if its just me or if other women experience the change in the view of her breast after feeding a baby. What used to be luscious objects filled with pleasure for both my husband and I are now simply giant utters of which seem to have no use other than for producing milk. Even after 6 months of not breastfeeding I still struggle with viewing them in any other way. Without going into way to much detail I just simply wonder if other mothers experience this or if i am just one of those odd ones! Of course the hubs cares not.. To him they are still wonderful creations from God both for him and for feeding babies to me its a constant battle of the mind.
Nearing the arrival of baby number 2 I know breastfeeding is the way to go, its healthy, its natural and its the best thing for your baby and its free! However, even knowing above all its what I need to do for my baby I cringe at the thought of having to do it again... How oh HOW do I get past this feeling and is it possible to have the best of both worlds???
Birth Control... Onto part 2! I have always been an ANTI Birth Control person for a ton of reasons. Obviously since here we are, baby # 2 will be born just days before the 2nd yes SECOND anniversary of when we started dating! (haha) However, with a soon to be one year old, a new born on the way and a husband leaving for a year to Afghanistan, obviously birth control is going to become a necessary part of my life.. At least for several months until my husband actually leaves. We probably do want at least one more baby but defiantly not until late 2012! I fear BC for many reasons, weight gain, moodiness, side effects, affects on future pregnancies etc.. So what are your thoughts, recommendations, stories etc..
And Finally Buddha! This blog really has nothing to do with Buddha it was just another 'b' word that seemed catchy other than the fact I feel like Buddha with this HUGE Belly!!! And NO you can not rub it for luck!!!!
Thoughts, inspirations, comments from other moms is greatly appreciated and wanted!