So excited to bring you week two of Mommy to Mommy Q&A!
This weeks topic is Mommy Me Time!
Here is a little about the sweet mommies taking part this week!
Jodie from Wilsons Irish Twins
Jodie: ‘I am the lucky mother of two adorable babies - Calan, a 2-year-old bundle of energy, and Maisie, a 1-year-old full of fuss and fun. Having 2 children 13 months apart, might seem crazy to some, but for us, its just right. I share all my joys, fears, worries, concerns, excitement, plans, and whatever else comes to mind while raising these bundles of joy.’
Renee from My So Called Mommy Life
Renee is a coffee drinking, Iphone addicted mama of a 1 year-old girl who just returned to work after a years maternity leave. She blogs about everything to do with baby from labour and delivery to favourite books and art projects. You can follow her journey at http://mysocalledmommylife.com
Leslie from Violet Imperfection
My name is Leslie and my blog is Violet Imperfection. My blog is a bit of everything, crafts, DIY, recipes, books and of course being a stay at home Mama to my almost six month old daughter Violet. I started this blog to remind me that not everything has to be perfect. I have lived with the pressure of trying to be perfect my whole life and above all I want to teach Violet that life is beautiful, imperfections and all.
Q - Having 3 under 3 I am not totally sure I even know what Mommy Me Time is! How do you find time for yourself and what do like to do?
Jodie: Utilize your husband. I know that for many moms that is not an option, but it is for me and I use him (in a good way). When I was pregnant with my first, I remember having one of those big hormonal just-listen-and-nod-dear-husband moments. I looked at him in pure panic and said with tears that I need him to be a hands-on dad (which I knew he would be, but I was hormonal). I didn't want to be a stay-at-home mom who was afraid to leave her children with their father. I didn't want to be overly controlling, which I totally knew I would be if he did not help me.
He is great about letting me get away and being home if I need to do something. I do try to plan things that are after bedtimes or at least after dinner so he just has to put them to bed. I like to go out and catch up with friends. Most of my friends are moms too and we do get together for play dates, but there is just something so different about mom-only time.
When I really need some time to myself, I go get a pedicure. Pretty toes just some how makes everything so much better. There is little in my life that a pedicure can't fix. It makes me feel human again and not just a jungle gym, play toy, Kleenex, maid, etc. that my children think that I am.
Renee: I try to find some time to myself daily (if I can). These days I've learned that "Me" time looks different than it use to. Drinking my coffee alone, taking a shower with the door closed, or grocery shopping alone have become my new "me" time and I'm ok with that! I also am fortunate to be a part of a workout group which meets weekly. I also try to meet up with friends with or without kids to catch up. For my "Me" time I love seeing my friends, catching up on some reading (books and blogs), shopping (which is rarely) and taking a nap!
Leslie: My daughter is only six months old but for now I have found a system that works. If I am having one of those pull my hair out days I will call my husband at work and let him know that I need some Mama time. When he gets home I am usually waiting with keys in hand and "tag out" as my husband and I call it. I usually just go to craft stores and wander around/ shop. I also love going to a used bookstore and browse. With a little more planning I will go get a pedicure
Q - When days are going crazy around our house my destresser is loading up all the kids and going for a drive and getting myself some Starbucks or a Diet Dr Pepper! How do you de-stress when you cant get time to yourself?
Jodie: I go out as well. Some how my kids are way less whiny when they aren't at our house. We go for a walk or go to the library or the zoo or whatever we can that day.
But sometimes, it is just about getting to bedtime. I live for bedtime. My kids go to bed at 7:30 basically every night. Even if they aren't sleeping, they are in their beds at 7:30. I shutdown the second the kids are in bed if it has been a bad day. I plop on the couch and watch horrible reality shows that somehow make me feel better about my life.
Renee: Put baby in her stroller and go for a walk! Ever since she was born in Aug 2011 we have been walking, even in the winter. We both love being outside and happen to stumble across some great places on our adventures. Starbucks is also a favourite hangout for a quick coffee for me and baby's "coffee" which is whole milk in a tall coffee cup!
Leslie: My husband and I share a car, I so wish I could hop in the car on those crazy days. Usually I will just let go of anything on my to do list, not worry about housework and focus on Violet. Sometimes what we need to get back on track is some playtime. Worst case, Mama Baby nap time.
Q - I know every mommy deals with not being able to go to the bathroom alone but at what point, especially when kids start being curious and noticing body parts do you start teaching them that bathroom time isnt social time or do you? Especially as women and monthly visitors, Id really prefer to handle business alone with out an audience asking questions!
Jodie: Luckily, I only have one walker so far, so only one person to possibly disturb me. While my son is sometimes around when I have to go to the bathroom, for the most part, he leaves me alone. I usually do it while he is busy with something else and just tell him where I am going and that I want him to stay here till I get back. This usually does the trick. I don't think that it is a bad thing to set up boundaries for kids and the bathroom is a great place for that. The kids just aren't allowed in if we are going to the bathroom. They can wait outside the door till we are done, but "feet" must stay out.
I am also a big user of "safe spaces." If I need to be in the bathroom for a longer period of time and need the kids to be somewhere that I know they won't get in trouble, into their cribs or bedroom they go till I am done. I give them toys they need to entertain them and I get time to myself to do what is needed.
Renee: My daughter is still too young to understand what is going on. I've gotten use to her being my buddy everywhere including the bathroom. I will have to tackle the privacy issue one day but it won't be anytime close.
Leslie: I haven't reached this milestone yet....looking forward to the answers.
Q - I know I am not the only one that struggles to find time for a quick shower some days yet alone a bath! How do you work in showers or even relaxing baths?
Jodie: I am not a mom that can wake up before her kiddos to shower and start her day. My kids wake me up around 7 and I usually can roll out of bed around 7:15. We usually have a slow starting morning with breakfast around 8. After breakfast, my kids get to go play by themselves. My son goes in their room to play and my daughter goes in her pack-and-play in our room to play. I then brew my coffee and hop in the shower with the door open in case I need to hear something going on. I usually get 40 minutes to get ready during that time. For me that is enough time to shower and do my hair and makeup. I usually pick out my clothes the night before, so that I am not wasting my 40 minutes picking out an outfit. After their play time, I get the kids dressed for the day and my 1-year-old goes down for a small morning nap and my 2-year-old gets to watch a little TV, so I can drink my cup of coffee. It is usually 9:30 around then and I am refreshed, feeling like a human, and ready for the day.
Renee: Baths are non-existant in my life right now. I do love a relaxing bath although I have no time whatsoever for one these days. Showers have to be fast. Usually once baby goes down for her morning nap I am able to have a shower alone and then get dressed and ready for the day before she wakes up.
Leslie: Being that I only have one baby, I usually shower when she naps. Or in the mornings after Violet's first bottle she is content to babble in her crib. I am lucky that I can still contain her easily. Though I have taken a fair amount of showers listening to her cry.
Q - If you have multiple kids, do you do one on one time with each? At what age did you start? Share some fun ideas or a story.
Jodie: I am lucky that my daughter still naps in the morning and that gives me some one-on-one time with my son, but I will be honest, I don't get a lot of one-on-one time with my daughter. Though on the weekends, if my husband has some errands to do, he takes our son and I hang back with our daughter and play at home. I don't think they are exactly at the age where it completely matters. I am hoping as the years go on that I will have mom dates with my children. That is the plan, anyway.
Renee: If you have multiple kids, do you do one on one time with each? At what age did you start? Share some fun ideas or a story.
Only one child here so far! So she gets 100% of my attention!
Leslie: Just one kid so far but I do try to interact one on one with Violet in more structured play. I get down on the floor and play with her toys, she thinks it is so funny right now.
Q -What about Mommy & Daddy Time? When we had 2 we never had trouble going on dates or getting 'personal' time together but our 3rd is totally needy and its much harder to find sitters for 3 to go on dates and even harder with a cosleeping needy baby to find 'personal' time for you and the hubs!
Jodie: We are pretty hit or miss on a date night. Our goal is to go out on a "date" once a month. For the most part, we do that. We have family close by that come over and watch the kiddos. We usually do not go out though till the kids' bedtime to make it easier on whomever is watching them.
As for other "personal" time, let's just say nap time is utilized to its fullest.
Renee: In baby's first year we did not have as much mommy and daddy time as we probably would have liked to. Felt like everytime we discussed a fun night out we were too tired and would just prefer staying home and/or going to sleep early. We hope to go out more now that baby is older than we did in her first year!
Leslie: We have not really felt the need for date nights quite yet. Violet is an agreeable girl so we can take her to dinners and such.